Choosing Your Bridal Party

The moment you've dreamed of since you were young is finally here: you're engaged! You have the ring you've always wanted, you have that famous wedding glow, you've posted the quintessential 'I said YES' Instagram photo of your ring, and you're now getting manicures every Thursday. You're delighted by the idea of choosing your perfect Bridal Party. You immediately go over a list in your head with the following: Your four best friends from high school who you made a pact with in tenth grade, your childhood neighbor, your cousin Jenny, your Fiance's little sister, your two roommates from college, can't forget your three sorority sisters, your co-worker Beth, and oh wait your two friends whose bridal party you were in last year, and last but not least your older sister(s)? Before you know it you're up to fourteen bridesmaids and suddenly it's not longer your closest love ones but a girl scout troop of several personalities. Now I'm all for doing your own thing especially when you're the bride, but some things are to be considered carefully. Here are several tips to keep in mind when choosing your bridal party.

1. The one month rule

We know your're going to be overwhelmed with excitement and sharing the news with everyone, however take your time! It may be tempting to ask a girlfriend when you're overjoyed in the moment or had too much celebratory champagne; but remember that once you ask someone to be in your bridal party there is no going back. So give yourself a month to chose your closest friends.

2. Honesty is key

Will they be reliable and supportive on your big day? Will they be there when you need advice or favors?  Or better yet will they dance like crazy when 'Shout' plays or will they sulk in the corner because they hate their dress.  Ask yourself these questions when choosing your party because there's nothing worse than a moody bridesmaid or even worse an unreliable one! "Oh the rehearsal dinner was tonight, oops?"


There may be no right or wrong number when it comes to the amount of bridesmaids one can have, but think of the number of personalities and opinions you will have to accommodate. Coral may not be everyone's color nor will a strapless gown, so keep in mind there may be several comments from the peanut gallery. According to The Knot four is the average number of bridesmaids one will have especially for smaller weddings. However, twelve is a common amount for weddings over 150 guests. If you really can't decide on a number, give your loved on a special role, such as ushering or doing a reading. 

4. because they asked

You may have been in your girlfriend's wedding last spring or even five years ago, but if you you've lost touch or find her unreliable than it's perfectly okay not to ask her to be apart of your party. However, be prepared to have a conversation with her if she asks. The Knot suggests offering corsages for special friends or family members who may not have been asked to be in the bridal party. 

5. family first

When it comes to your maid of honor the only person who should trump friends is your sister (if you have one). She is the one who knows you the best and can be one hundred percent honest with you. You can rely on her to throw you the shower of your requests "no games please," and perhaps the only one who won't judge you for having several wedding meltdowns. If you have two sisters and can't decide on one as maid of honor, why not have both?

6. The flower girl

If you have a niece or godchild that is particularly close to you, you may want to have her as your flower girl. Just be prepared because children can be unpredictable, so think about this carefully. If you are having an adults only wedding but still want your niece apart of your big day have her be a part of your ceremony and have her parents arrange for a sitter.  You can make it easier on your guests and arrange to provide a babysitter at the venue.



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